


Maybe

by N_A_M_E_L_E_S_S



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Child Neglect, M/M, References to Depression, Self-Denial
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-24 18:11:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21103805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/N_A_M_E_L_E_S_S/pseuds/N_A_M_E_L_E_S_S
Summary: Maybe he wasn't okay after all...





	Maybe

Maybe, when Karma fell over that cliff, he didn't care whether he lived or died. Maybe as he fell over the edge and watched his former best friends face widen into horror, he felt no guilt at all.

he'd read somewhere on the internet that all redheads had a self-destruct button, and that it was often catastrophic to the people around. maybe it was that.

or maybe that was just a lame joke he'd found somewhere and never forgot. 

maybe it didn't matter either way, because now as he stared up through the rushing wind, memories sparked in his mind.

maybe he wasn't actually paying attention to if Koro-sensei was coming to save him or not.

maybe he didn't care either way. and as he fell, he grinned because this was never how he thought he'd die. he always thought it would be him making a dangerous enemy, or accidentally starving himself in his empty house...

oh yeah. his parents. he wondered what they'd do? he tried to remember their faces and couldn't. maybe that was kind of messed up. maybe that didn't bother him as much as it should. either way, they probably wouldn't care.

would there be a funeral?

probably not.

sure, he had people who cared, but not enough for that. or... maybe Nagisa would?

ah yes. Nagisa. one of the few human beings capable of making Karma nervous.

why? because he was so...

mouse-like.

he was silent and small, he faded into the background ad slipped past Karma's iron guard effortlessly.

maybe...

maybe that scared the living hell out of Karma.

this boy could kill him in his sleep, he'd realized, staring in slight fear at the shorter boy.

and maybe he was also scared of whatever that boy was hiding behind his eyes.

a creature, a snake.

maybe Karma was scared of the fact he wanted to drag it out of the blunette. 

maybe he cared more than he let on...

maybe he'd cared more about that old teacher more than he wanted to admit too.

but really, could you blame him? living life without a guiding adult, and then suddenly one appears? maybe he trusted too quickly.

then, after everything, he'd come to find out the person he considered the leading adult in his life was only in it for his reputation and how Karma's actions affected him...

typical.

he felt ashamed of himself that he'd expected any different.

he always did that didn't he? just when he was okay his masochistic side got in the way.

he blamed his parents.

he blamed them for a lot actually. 

and hell, they were never around, so he could blame them for everything.

run out of strawberry milk? dad's fault.

wind up in the hospital because of a fight? stupid mother.

moon blows up? wow, dad really glared hard at it huh?

they certainly wouldn't care if he died...

at least they had something in common.

so yeah, maybe the thought of death didn't affect him as it should...

but maybe he was fine with that.

so maybe, when something yellow flashed to his right, and the frigid wind whipping past his falling form stopped abruptly,

maybe as he felt something under his body, holding him still...

maybe, even as his teeth gritted and his shocked eyes followed the teasing octopuses movements... he felt just a bit disappointed that he'd survived.

and maybe Koro-sensei saw that because his teasing stopped and his face (somehow) softened. 

"students do not die on my watch. ever."

then his voice lowered, just a little as he said, "take that to heart for the next time you jump."

there was a moment of shock, and then... then there was a small realization on his part.

maybe...

maybe he wasn't okay.

but maybe, just maybe...

that was okay...?

oh well. he certainly had a lot of people to make him okay now. what was it Nagisa said? that they'd do it together?

maybe that didn't sound so bad...

and as the sun shone through the trees, and his body relaxed an exasperated but gentle smile took his face. 'I've got nothing... un-friggin-believable... he won't die. the teacher in him especially... but maybe...'

his eyes slipped closed.

'maybe that's okay, at least for now...'

'maybe I'll be okay.'


End file.
